'What I have I give unto you'

Please take the time to read this word in its entirety.

I do hope this isn’t a bit premature, but I feel as though I will explode without releasing it. To some, this may be common sense, to others, as it was to me, complete revelation.

I have been praying and fasting for certain spiritual gifts. I would list them all but I almost feel greedy in doing so. And in light of that, God has showed me to a certain extent that I have been. Not in deed but in motive, in the heart. Here is the beginning.

No where in scripture do I see where Jesus handed someone a church tract and they got saved. Jesus never brought a person into the kingdom without some spiritual gift being present. Jesus operated in the same promise he gave to us. Signs and Wonders follow the followers. In speaking to the woman at the well Jesus didn’t say my church is awesome, you should come this Sunday and get saved. We have x-box if you have some kids, we have eight departments and ten classes and the nursery opens twenty minutes before the service.

He said ‘you have well said you have no husband,’ you have had five and your shacked up with the sixth one right now. Then she said ‘I perceive you are a prophet.’ He didn’t give her a revelation of the church, he operated through the spirit and the gift of the word of knowledge and gave her revelation about who he was by telling her who she was. And with a conversation he turned an adulterer into an evangelist.

I see this repeated throughout the scripture. Oh how I want that anointing. To be able to say through the spirit to someone things that are only known to them in the shadows of their life. Just someone on the streets of Dallas. To be able to walk up to a woman in a wheelchair and say ‘what I have I give unto you’ and take her arm as she stands and begins to run down the aisles at Wal-mart.

So I set my face as flint and began to seek this power, this gifting. And as I did the Lord began to show me the darkness in my own heart of hearts, and my lack of genuine compassion for the lost and the hurting and the sick and the dying. He revealed to me the corruption of what seemed to be a genuine cry. I desperately want these giftings, I desperately wanted to see people healed, saved, and delivered! But to what end? To God’s end, or the furtherance of my ministry? To mine and God’s exaltation, or solely to God’s?

You see I read these accounts of Jesus healing the sick and them becoming followers of Him, but I leave out a very important verse that follows many of them. Something to this effect. “Then after He had healed them, He told them to depart and tell no one.” That’s bad PR! That’s not how to get your ministry known. I have been seeking a gift to put my ministry on the map. I’ve been hero minded and not kingdom minded.

God spoke to me and showed me that He did that not for His own elevation, but out of genuine love for that one person, out of true compassion for that one person’s situation. Compassion and passion for the furtherance of God’s will cannot coexist with pride and a desire to see my own purposes fulfilled.

I wrote these next few words a few days apart in prayer.

3 Dec 2008

I need to know Gods voice more. I prayed for a man last night that was sick and had diabetes and he is still sick and still with diabetes. God...why? You said signs and wonders would follow. I have even had that specifically prophesied over my ministry, so when God. I hear you saying I am still lacking, but lacking what.

Then God spoke this to me a few days later.

8 Dec 2008

You will never heal the sick without compassion. And you will never have compassion while pride exists. Because pride won’t let faith in God flow because pride is a self righteous sin, about your capabilities and not God’s. And since you can’t heal the sick, when you operate without genuine compassion, they remain unhealed, but when you begin to move and pray with compassion, pride flees, and you operate with God’s faith.

I hope and pray that you will take hold of this word, and begin to seek God’s heart that you might have God’s heart. Begin to seek to have the compassion God has. Make this your prayer.

If you can love like God loves, you can heal like God heals!

“God, teach me to Love like you Love!”